Wibb Shines In Strong Effort
Alumni Sputters But Goalie Keeps It Real
Manhattan, KS- It took an amazing show by Alumni Goaltender, Matt “No Cheese” Wibbenmeyer to keep the current squad of Wildcats from running up the score and blowing out the elders in a heated battle at Memorial Stadium last Saturday during the 24th Annual Alumni Fest in a game which the Little Cats took by a score of 5-3.
“Without him we would have been in a bad spot, that’s for sure.” Attackman, Shane “The Little Macintosh” Apple said during the post game press conference. “He was on fire all day and we really owed it to him for keeping the score respectable.”
Former KSU Lacrosse Club President and current Director of Alumni Obligations, Curt “DukTrukin’ Thunder” Thurman agreed.
“I tried to tell the guys to shoot high on this kid (current K-state Goalie “Insert Name Here”) ‘cause he was short, you know? Short goalies like to squat low and they gobble those shots up. Shoot high and it forces them to stretch and those kind of guys don’t like doing that.” Thunder explained. “But did they listen to me? No. Of course not. Things haven’t changed in twenty years.”
The day dawned bright and for some ridiculous reason the game was scheduled to commence at the un-Godly hour of 9am but reality often differs from bold thinking and the opening whistle did not blow until almost 10 o’clock. Still, the Alumni had difficulty polishing the rust and had it not been for the amazing skills of Wibbenmeyer the opening half may have looked much different than the 1-1 tie.
Despite some jaw-dropping stops from “No Cheeze” Wibbs and a continued effort of ridiculous saves the youngsters managed to perform the impossible and etched two scores on the Alumni. With little or no help whatsoever from his offense Wibb kept the Alumni in the game and the third quarter ended with a manageable 4-2 deficit.
At some point during the second half Alumni Manager of Comic Relief, Matt “Dungy” Donnegan suffered what was hoped to be a career ending injury but the medical staff assured the team his pulled calf muscle should be sufficiently healed in time for next year’s contest.
“I’m just proud to be here. Happy to support the team and be a good teammate. I hope, Good Lord willing, that we’ll take it one game at a time and you know? Just here to support the team.” Donnegan said mostly to himself at the post game presser.
During a well played time out which, had it not been for the stellar play of Goalkeeper Wibbs, would have been the play of the game “The Little Macintosh” called his own play and claimed he possessed the ability to beat his man. After the whistle he did just that and dipsy-doo’d his way to the crease and deposited one for the Good Guys to make the score 4-3.
Chris “The Franchise” Howell continued his domination of the face offs and worked the ball into his stick but a miscue to Chris “Try Me Once” Torline caused a turnover that not even the all star efforts of Goalkeeper Wibbs could prevent. With time running out and the current batch of Wildcats appearing to slug the clock for their benefit Alumni Attackman, Tim “The Only Way” Van Wye directed his defense to double team the ball. The directive was roundly ignored by all players wearing Alumni Purple except for the previously mentioned stud of a goalie who listened to his attack unit and leapt from the cage in a desperate attempt to corral the ball.
Withering in fear at the maniacal ferocity of this uncaged desperado the current Cat dropped the rock in fear. Failing to respond to the efforts of their All-Star Netminder the Alumni froze in place and allowed the current squad to regain possession with just under a minute remaining. Heaving several rockets and launching multiple barrages at the cage the amazing skills of “No Cheeze” Wibbs were once again center stage for all to see. But sometimes even eagles fall out of trees and with one final spin of the roulette wheel the current team hit their number and slipped a nugget past the outstretched foot of Wibbs and into the back of the net to finish the scoring and total the final at a count of 5-3 in favor of the Young Cats.
“It’s never easy. Can’t ever quit. As long as there’s time on the clock there’s a chance for victory.” Wibbs told the mass of press gathered around his locker after the game. “I wanted to win, sure. Wanted to win for the kids. Wanted to win this one for all the little schools out there who didn’t have a chance to get here.”
The loss puts the all time record for KSU Lacrosse Alumni at 5-10 for the elders.